Didn't Used to Care.
It's been awhile since I last wrote, I know but please don't rag on me for not keeping the blog up to date. I have been busy with being a father. It is a busy job, being a father, and if you are one you know just how busy and stressful it can be. I am not making excuses, I am just owning my lack of time, energy or maybe even desire to write a blog post but something struck me today that motivated me to write.
If you are paying attention to world events, I don't have to tell you there are some horrendous things happening around the world these days. From civilian planes being shot out of the sky by warring children with weapons that no one should have to religious fighting killing innocent people all over northern Africa. There is a never ending stream of deadly wars with no justification that lay waste to thousands of lives and waste treasures of those fighting. Watching this all unfold is like watching small children fighting over a toy they both want. No reason can stop it but unlike children pulled apart by their parents, warring countries just keep on waging war.
Along with these deadly wars, our planet faces incredibly difficult obstacles to overcome in the years and decades ahead. Unbridled growth in populations, and the irresistible drive for corporate profits have created problems of their own and if these are not resolved, our civilization will end. Very little of this is new. Sure the overpopulation of the world is a relatively new issue but war has been just as brutal if not more so over the decades. The problem is, we all know these things are killing us all and we don't seem to care. All of these wars and strife is taking away from the energy it will take civilization to solve the problems we need to solve in order for our society to continue. The future looks bleak and those causing the problems don't seem to care.
All of this strife in the world really bothers me and not just a little bit. I worry about it a lot and it makes me angry that it only gets worse. I am making myself sick worrying over it all and then today it dawned on me that it hasn't always been like that. I never used to worry about the state of the world like this before. I have always been interested in the news, read papers and news magazines all the time but it never really made me mad before. As I thought about this more and more today, I realized why all this bad news is getting to me now and not years prior. I realized that I am a father now and I wasn't then. It's been ten years now that I have been a father and while I wouldn't trade one second of those ten years for all the money in the world, all of those ten years haven't been dancing and singing. Not only have there been those difficult times like when my son fell down or when I had to say no when he desperately wanted me to say yes, or any number of other difficult fatherly situations but all the brutal things going on in the world really piss me off.
They piss me off, not because they will effect me, but they will affect my sons life and if he has kids they will be affected even more so. Had I never had children, I really don't think I would give one good damn about the world destroying itself bit by bit, ocean by ocean, tree by tree. Once again, fatherhood surprises me, unfortunately for me, it isn't a good surprise. Still though, I wouldn't trade fatherhood for all the money in the world.
Tim
